• Shop

    Rep The Cause, Break The Stigma.

    #ITAINTWEAKTOSPEAK
    Shop Women
    • New Arrivals
    • T-Shirts
    • Accessories
    • Sale
    • View All
    • Sponsor a conversation
    Shop Men
    • New Arrivals
    • T-Shirts
    • Accessories
    • Sale
    • View All
    Shop Kids
    • New Arrivals
    • T-Shirts
    • Accessories
    • Sale
    • View All
    Customer Support
    • Order enquiries & returns
    • Help Desk & FAQ's
    • Shipping policy
  • Help Us

    Rep The Cause, Break The Stigma.

    #ITAINTWEAKTOSPEAK
    Donate
    • Donate to LIVIN
    • Regular Donation
    • One-Off Donation
    • Workplace Giving
    • Leaving a Gift in your Will
    Fundraise
    • Create your own
    • Join an Event
    • In Celebration
    • In Memory
    Volunteer
    • Volunteer for LIVIN
  • Book Now

    Rep The Cause, Break The Stigma.

    #ITAINTWEAKTOSPEAK
    Face to Face Programs
    • LIVINWell In Work
    • LIVINWell In School
    • LIVINWell In Sport/Community
    Online Programs
    • e-learning Mental Health Awareness Program
  • LIVIN Hub

    Rep The Cause, Break The Stigma.

    #ITAINTWEAKTOSPEAK
    Facts & Guides
    • Depression
    • Anxiety
    • Addiction & Substance Use Disorder
    • Trauma & Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • Other Mental Health Conditions
    Media & Events
    • Podcasts
    • News & Blogs
    • Upcoming Events
    • Your Stories
    • Past Events
    Seeking Help
    • When & where to seek help
    • Find a Professional
    • Tips & Tricks
    • Forum
    Resources
    • Downloadable Fact Sheets
    • LIVIN App download
    • Newsletter Signup
  • About Us

    Rep The Cause, Break The Stigma.

    #ITAINTWEAKTOSPEAK

    • About Us
    • Our Values
    • Our Impact
    • Our Partners
    • Media Enquiries
    • Contact Us
Donate
  1. Home
  2. Your Stories
  3. My story – By Zachary

Your Stories

My story – By Zachary

3 Minutes Read | Posted in LIVIN | Posted during February 1, 2019

My father was an addict, paranoid schizophrenic, chronic hoarder and a drug dealer. Life in his home was one of extreme boredom, regular physical and emotional neglect punctuated with occasional moments of terror.

The clientele my father supplied were desperate and volatile. They would pop in on a daily basis offering cash or barter in exchange for their next hit.

As a young boy, it fell on me to both mind my younger brother as well as keep them occupied whilst my father ‘got the stuff’. I remember this being my role all throughout my childhood and into my early teens. I have broken memories of sexual assaults (likely at the hands of my fathers clients) that are still troubling me to this day.

Life at my mother’s house had its own problems, so at 15 years old I moved out of home with my then girlfriend. We managed to complete high school by surviving off government support payments, part time work, and charity handouts.

Wherever possible we would use the school’s breakfast programs as well as attend free ‘how to cook’ classes. Not because we didn’t know how to cook, but rather because we got to eat the food afterwards.

I am 30 years old now, and I am still dealing with the mental health ramifications of my childhood. I have had ongoing issues with anxiety, depression and PTSD, as well as sporadic issues with self-harm, addiction and suicidal ideation.

Recovery has been a long and continuous process, one that is often two steps forward, one step backward. I approach my healing with a long term focus.

I make sure to look at the self-care options that work best for me, and then attempt to implement them into my life, making room for them where necessary.

Currently my functionality is a mixed bag. Whilst I am not able to maintain full time work (I am a secondary teacher by trade), I am able to work casually in many different roles.

I now find myself doing replacement teaching, disability support work, martial arts instruction, speaking engagements, life coaching, as well as writing and releasing books for sale. Whilst this isn’t the ‘traditional’ approach to work, it is the way that works for me.

I still suffer from the occasional breakdown. But thankfully they are increasingly less frequent, and less extreme.

There is no one thing that I can point to that keeps me on track, other than a continual drive for increased self-awareness. If I know myself, I will know what I am capable of, as well as what my limits are.

Professional therapy is a monthly must. After numerous false starts with different therapists, I have found a psychologist that has helped me to make tremendous progress forward.

Daily meditation has worked wonders on my focus and mental state in general. I am calmer overall, and my levels of extreme anxiety and depression have dropped. It has certainly helped me to deal with intrusive thoughts indicative of PTSD and panic attacks.

I have made a concerted effort to completely eliminate all intoxicants from my lifestyle, including alcohol and even sugar. A strong dedication to healthy living including daily exercise is both intrinsically motivating as well as rewarding. I have never been fitter or healthier in my life!

Finally, every day I will ‘free write’ as a form of self-expression. I write without editing or filtering my thoughts. This is highly cathartic. The page listens, it does not judge, and it has all the time in the world for me.

I am passionate about reducing the stigma of mental illness and trauma. I believe that it is only through open and honest discussion of our experiences that society at large will be in a place to understand and accept our conditions and subsequent needs.

This is why I now blog, vlog and podcast about my ongoing journey as well as that of others.  You can find my work at zachary-phillips.com, or on my social @zacpphillips. I would love to connect with you.

Zachary.

If you’re struggling, check out our Get Help Page for services that can help you get through this.

Leave a comment

More ways to keep up to date:

Join the newsletter:

Keep up to date with everything LIVIN – news, podcasts, events, tips, products, and special discounts.

Want to get involved?

Buy apparel
Donate
Fundraising
Volunteer

Get more from the blog

    • About Us
    • Shop
    • Podcasts
    • Depression
    • Anxiety
    • Addiction & Substance Use Disorder
    • Trauma & Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
    • Other Mental Health Conditions
    • Seeking Help
    • Find a Professional
    • Tips & Tricks
    • Forum
    • Covid-19 & Mental Health
    • Customer Support

Your Stories

Related Articles

5 Minutes Read | Posted in LIVIN

My story – By Jaynie

I’ve always felt like talking about mental health wasn’t an issue for me, there was no shame or stigma around it for m...

Continue reading
2 Minutes Read | Posted in LIVIN

My story – By Richard

My father Michael Kerrigan was a successful television director, who was the life and soul of the party and always lived life to t...

Continue reading
4 Minutes Read | Posted in LIVIN

My story- By Jye

My name is Jye, I am 30 years old. I was married for nearly 9 years and I have two girls, Lylah 7 and Evelyn 4. I served 11.5 year...

Continue reading
  • Shop

    Shop Women

    • New Arrivals
    • T-Shirts
    • Accessories
    • Sale
    • View All
    • Sponsor a conversation

    Shop Men

    • New Arrivals
    • T-Shirts
    • Accessories
    • Sale
    • View All

    Shop Kids

    • New Arrivals
    • T-Shirts
    • Accessories
    • Sale
    • View All

    Customer Support

    • Order enquiries & returns
    • Help Desk & FAQ's
    • Shipping policy
  • Help Us

    Donate

    • Donate to LIVIN
    • Regular Donation
    • One-Off Donation
    • Workplace Giving
    • Leaving a Gift in your Will

    Fundraise

    • Create your own
    • Join an Event
    • In Celebration
    • In Memory

    Volunteer

    • Volunteer for LIVIN
  • Book Now

    Face to Face Programs

    • LIVINWell In Work
    • LIVINWell In School
    • LIVINWell In Sport/Community

    Online Programs

    • e-learning Mental Health Awareness Program
  • LIVIN Hub

    Facts & Guides

    • Depression
      • Signs and symptoms?
      • What is Depression?
    • Anxiety
    • Addiction & Substance Use Disorder
    • Trauma & Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • Other Mental Health Conditions

    Media & Events

    • Podcasts
    • News & Blogs
    • Upcoming Events
    • Your Stories
    • Past Events

    Seeking Help

    • When & where to seek help
    • Find a Professional
    • Tips & Tricks
    • Forum

    Resources

    • Downloadable Fact Sheets
    • LIVIN App download
    • Newsletter Signup
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Our Values
    • Our Impact
    • Our Partners
    • Media Enquiries
    • Contact Us
Join the Newsletter

Keep up to date with everything LIVIN - news, podcasts, events, tips, products, and special discounts.

Connect with us
  • ABOUT US
    • #itaintweaktospeak
    • Our Values
    • Our Impact
    • Our Partners
    • Media Enquiries
    • Contact Us
  • THE FACTS
    • Depression
    • Anxiety
    • Addictions & Substance Use Disorder
    • Trauma & Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • Other Mental Health Conditions
  • GET HELP
    • Seeking Help
    • Find A Professional
    • Tips & Tricks
    • COVID-19 & Mental Health
  • ENGAGE
    • Book a Program
    • Fundraise
    • Donate
    • Volunteer
    • Upcoming Events
  • LIVIN HUB
    • Podcast
    • News & Blogs
    • Your Stories
    • Upcoming Events
    • Resources
    • Customer Support
  • SITE LINKS
    • Contact
    • Donate
    • About Zip
  • SHOP
    • View All
    • Mens
    • Womens
    • Unisex
    • Kids
    • Accessories
    • Order Enquiries & Returns
    • Shipping
Head Office

Burleigh Heads, Queensland Australia 4220

Postal Address

Po Box 370, Burleigh Heads, Queensland Australia 4220

In loving memory of our friend Dwayne Lally, we miss you mate.

Donate

© 2021 LIVIN. All Rights Reserved.

  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Wellbeing Policy
  • Shipping Policy
  • Returns Policy

Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 HELP IS ALWAYS CLOSE Lifeline: 13 11 14 Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 IT AIN'T WEAK TO SPEAK Emergency: 000 Open Arms – Veterans & Families: 1800 011 046 MensLine: 1300 789 978 Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 HELP IS ALWAYS CLOSE Lifeline: 13 11 14 Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 IT AIN'T WEAK TO SPEAK Emergency: 000 Open Arms – Veterans & Families: 1800 011 046 MensLine: 1300 789 978 Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 HELP IS ALWAYS CLOSE Lifeline: 13 11 14 Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 IT AIN'T WEAK TO SPEAK Emergency: 000 Open Arms – Veterans & Families: 1800 011 046 MensLine: 1300 789 978 Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 HELP IS ALWAYS CLOSE Lifeline: 13 11 14 Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 IT AIN'T WEAK TO SPEAK Emergency: 000 Open Arms – Veterans & Families: 1800 011 046 MensLine: 1300 789 978