#33: Dominick Quartuccio Speaks On How To Stop Drifting

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From the outside, Dominick Quartuccio had it all.  The corner office overlooking Times Square in New York City, a high powered successful career overseeing a team with a $1.4 billion dollar sales goal.  Opportunity was at his fingertips and yet on the inside, his personal life was crumbling.  In this episode, Dominick shares on an extremely personal level about how his life started drifting and the wake up moment that led to him hitting rock bottom and spending 4 years in sex addicts anonymous.

Dominick is now an international speaker, author, podcast host and an all round inspiring human being whose life is dedicated to helping other men do the inner work to break the cycle of drifting.  He run’s men’s retreats, a men’s mastermind and talks about the stuff that men don’t talk about publicly.

In this podcast, Dominick lifts the veil on topics that many men leave in the shadows.  He openly talks about his first childhood experience with pornography, the impact it had on the rest of his adolencent years and how his turbulent inner world led to him justifying numerous sexual affairs and addition.

In this episode, Dominick explains the concept of drifting, why it’s so pervasive and what we can do to stop heading down a path we don’t consciously choose.  Dominick shares his three steps of Awaken, Disrupt and Design and how these processes help us become self aware, leading to the creation of healthy thought patterns, habits and relationships.

The old mentality of what it means to be a man is something that simply must shift.  The world needs men who know who they are, who are able to go deep, who have real bonds and community with other men.  This episode is an absolute must listen for any man or woman.

TOPICS WE COVER AND WHERE TO FIND THEM:

[3:20]: How Dominick has finished writing his second book manuscript on leadership and launched his first men’s mastermind

[4:07]: Dominick shares about his work background and how it was the default path to what he thought was success but he never questioned what he really wanted

[5:48]: How Dominick had the best sales year of his life in the 2009 recession but he didn’t feel inner fulfillment which caused him to wake up and ask deeper questions about his life

[8:10]: Dominick explains the phenomenon called drift, coined by author Napoleon Hill, and the 25 year process he went through to write his books, Think and Grow Rich and Outwitting the Devil

[9:45]: Dominick explains how Outwitting the Devil is the number one most important book of his life and how it discusses drifting versus consciously being in control of your life

[12:00]: Neuroscience has shown that 95% of our thoughts, feelings and behaviours fall below our conscious detection and that the subconscious habits can form lifetime patterns that cause us to act out of fear, insecurity etc.

[13:25]: Dominick shares the three steps that he proposes to stop drifting:

1. Awaken – meditation, journaling, 
2. Disrupt – taking the limiting pattern and creating experiments to step outside it
3. Design – create a new relationship with the thing that was toxic

[15:50]: How slowing down by meditation and journaling helps you to be self aware and the importance of reaching out to your partner and community

[17:22]: The importance of communication, having an open mind and being gentle on ourselves and each other to provide the support we need

[18:40]: Dominick shares how his private life came tumbling down when his girlfriend at the time discovered he was cheating with numerous other women

[20:15]: Dominick describes the effect that a pornography magazine had on him at 6 years old and how he learned to build his self worth on external validation while harboring a secret private life

[22:10]: How the pattern of porn, masterbation and reaching out to women for validation became normal and how he eventually went to sex addicts annonymous 

[23:20]: How he didn’t realise how disconnected he was and that over the last 7 years he has done an intense amount of inner work to bring himself and others to a place of freedom

[24:15]: How we can so easily justify our actions which is why it’s so important to have community. If you make promises to yourself that you constantly break, you are drifting.

[25:30]: Dominick describes how he justified sleeping with other women and how it was one minor thing after another

[26:30]: Dominick talks about “The Push” and how it reveals that we’re all capable of behaviours we didn’t think we’re capable of

[28:20]: Dominick’s work with men and the deep need for purpose and how he helps them to find what lights them up

[30:00]: How most men chase what gives them the most status or money, and not the most energy which is what Dominick started doing

[32:20]: The importance of men forging bonds with other men and how studies show that the most unhappy person is the 45 year old man 

[34:16]: How the world is calling for a man who knows who he is and can go deep

[36:00]: What “it ain’t weak to speak” means to Dominick

LINKS WE MENTIONED:

Dominick’s Podcast: https://www.doinnerwork.com/podcast

Dominick’s Website: https://www.doinnerwork.com/

Dominick’s Instagram: @dominickq

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

“Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill

“Outwitting the Devil” by Napoleon Hill

“Design Your Future” by Dominick Quartuccio

“Derren Brown: The Push” – Netflix

Thanks for listening to another episode of It Ain’t Weak to Speak with Sam Webb. Please rate the show and leave a review if you enjoyed it. 

Click here to leave a review & rate our show!

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