What is Burnout?

“You are a human being, not a human doing”

Lately, more people seem to be describing a sense of complete exhaustion – physically, mentally, and emotionally. They’re struggling to focus, feeling overwhelmed, and running on empty. Foot on the accelerator and brake at the same time – plenty of burning rubber, little movement forward! Some call it burnout, others just say they feel done.

But burnout isn’t just about being tired. It’s a chronic state of exhaustion, cynicism, and feeling like nothing is ever enough. It’s not just from long hours – it comes from deeper issues in how life, work, and responsibilities are structured. Many people don’t realise they’re slipping into burnout until they’re fully in it – surrounded by smoke.

What Does Burnout Actually Look Like?

Burnout happens when chronic pressure outweighs recovery over time. While it can look different for everyone, three tell-tale signs are most common:

• Exhaustion that won’t go away: Feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, no matter how much rest you get.
• Cynicism & detachment: Losing motivation, feeling emotionally distant, or becoming resentful toward work, responsibilities, or people.
• Feeling ineffective: Struggling to concentrate, feeling unproductive, or doubting your ability to keep up, even with things you used to handle easily.

Unlike everyday stress or temporary exhaustion, which can often be relieved with rest or a short break, burnout doesn’t just disappear after a day out on a boat or a weekend away swinging the clubs. That’s because the underlying stressors remain – whether it’s constant pressure, a lack of control, or feeling like nothing you do is enough.

Other Signs to Look Out For

As we often say when talking about warning signs and symptoms for any mental health issue, burnout is personal – any change in what’s typical for you could be a sign that things aren’t tracking well. Some of the more common signs include:

• Feeling exhausted and drained – physically, emotionally, or both.
• Decreased work satisfaction – tasks feel frustrating, pointless, or overwhelming.
• Disengagement from activities – things that used to matter (at work, home, or socially) now feel like a chore.
• Procrastination – struggling to start or finish tasks that were once routine.
• Disrupted sleep – difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or feeling rested.
• Headaches and body pain – stress taking a physical toll.
• Feeling isolated or trapped – like there’s no way out of the situation.
• Low energy and motivation – even small tasks feel like a battle.
• Irritability – short fuse, frustration, or emotional ups and downs.

These signs can overlap with other mental health challenges, and they can also be part of the natural ups and downs of life. Experiencing them occasionally doesn’t necessarily mean you’re burnt out. It’s important not to overpathologise the difficult – but expected (within reason) – ebbs and flows of life. But if these signs stick around, intensify, or start significantly affecting daily life, it’s time to take a step back and reassess what the hell is going on.

What’s Driving Burnout?

While work is a major contributor, burnout can also stem from ongoing personal demands like parenting, caregiving, or juggling responsibilities that leave little room to reset.

Some of the biggest contributors include:

• Overload – too much to do, with too few resources.
• Lack of control – feeling powerless over schedules, expectations, or personal time.
• Constant pressure – always needing to be “on,” with little chance to recharge.
• Emotional strain – carrying the mental load of work, family, or both.
• Disconnection from meaning – feeling like what you do doesn’t matter or isn’t valued.
• Unrealistic expectations – a constant sense of never doing enough, no matter how much effort you put in.
• Low social support – feeling isolated or lacking meaningful connections and support from colleagues, friends, or family, making it difficult to cope with stress or seek help when needed.

Burnout vs. Exhaustion (And Why It Matters)

“Misdiagnosis leads to mistreatment”

Burnout is often ‘misdiagnosed’ – by individuals and workplaces. Many assume they just need a break, but if the core issues aren’t addressed, burnout returns as soon as things pick up again.

A key distinction:

• Burnout is about chronic stress without enough recovery. It’s tied to prolonged pressure, imbalance, and emotional exhaustion.
• Exhaustion is temporary and improves with rest. If a weekend off or a short break helps, it’s likely fatigue – not full burnout.

Mislabeling exhaustion as burnout (or vice versa) can lead to ineffective solutions. If it’s temporary exhaustion, a few days of recovery might help. But if it’s burnout, change is necessary – whether in workload, lifestyle, boundaries, or expectations.

Practical Ways to Manage Burnout

“If you change nothing, nother is going to change”

1. Adjust Demands Where Possible

• Clarify your limits: Understand what’s realistic for you.
• Communicate your limits: Be upfront about what’s sustainable.
• Hold your limits: Expect pushback, but stand firm.

Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable, but protecting your energy isn’t selfish – it’s necessary. 

2. Increase Autonomy Where You Can

Prioritise tasks: Be selective about your commitments – does that social event truly need your attendance? Is your presence essential in every meeting? It’s also okay to occasionally cut back on your child’s extracurricular activities if they’re adding stress to your life.

Negotiate deadlines: Set realistic timelines by openly communicating your capacity, which helps avoid unnecessary pressure and sets clear expectations for everyone involved.

Adjust workflows: Create flexibility by establishing clear start and end points to your day. Define specific times for high-priority tasks and regularly scheduled breaks. Practically, this might mean setting aside uninterrupted time for focused work or having specific “no meeting” periods in your schedule. At home, this could include setting clear routines – such as specific times for homework, meals, or rest – that everyone in the family understands and respects.

Delegate clearly: Redistribute responsibilities effectively by communicating openly with colleagues, family, or friends. Reflect honestly – are you always volunteering first, or is workload fairly shared among colleagues? At home, evaluate your family dynamics: Could a co-parent or family member step up to support you more consistently?

3. Reconnect With People

Burnout thrives in isolation. It’s tempting to withdraw, but meaningful social connection is one of the strongest buffers against a range of mental health issues, and burnout. Talking openly to someone who understands – a friend, colleague, or professional – can shift perspective, replenish emotional resources, and provide practical support, easing the weight you’re carrying.

Try an Interpersonal Inventory: Take 5 minutes to list key relationships in your life. Identify who provides support, who drains your energy, and where connections could be strengthened. Reach out proactively to supportive friends, colleagues, or professionals. 

4. Stress Management – Building Self-Support Skills

Poor emotional regulation and limited stress management skills strongly predict burnout. Burnout drains energy. Recovery isn’t just rest – it’s intentionally replenishing your reserves. Small, deliberate actions reset your nervous system, rebuild resilience, and restore your sense of control.

Quick Self-Check:

• Are your daily routines genuinely supporting your well-being?
• Which coping strategies recharge you, and which just get you through the day?
• Are there unhelpful habits you can reduce or replace?
• What new practices could you try?

Work out what works for you – AND DO IT.

Adjust Expectations and Mindsets:

• Set realistic expectations to reduce frustration, disappointment, and self-criticism – prioritise genuine progress rather than striving for perfection as a colleague, parent, or friend.
• Use cognitive reframing to see stressful moments as temporary, manageable challenges, not overwhelming crises.
  • Example: Instead of thinking, “I’ll never finish this project,” shift to, “This task is tough right now, but I’ll handle it one step at a time.”
• Avoid tackling the whole day’s, week’s, or month’s tasks at once (especially on a Monday morning) – it’s bound to overwhelm you. Instead, plan your week ahead (Sunday night or Monday morning) to set structure and priorities clearly – be disciplined but flexible.
  • Categorise tasks clearly: urgent vs important vs nice-to-do.

The ‘Not-So-Basic’ Basics:

• Move your body: Cannot stress this enough! Exercise, stretching, resistance training – even short walks significantly reduce stress.
• Engage in activities you enjoy: Music, creativity, or relaxing activities that recharge your energy.
• Protect sleep: Establish consistent routines and prioritise quality sleep hygiene.
• Prioritise relaxation: Integrate short, restorative breaks into your day – mindfulness, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, journaling, or quiet downtime. Schedule this!
• Fuel your body: Hydrate consistently and choose balanced, nutritious meals.
• Set clear boundaries: Consciously limit or eliminate activities that consistently provoke stress – whether overwhelming work projects, excessive social engagements, or children’s extracurricular activities. Protect your time and energy; say “no” when needed, and mean it.

5. Reconnect With What Matters

Burnout can leave people feeling directionless – just going through the motions, getting through the day rather than living it. Reconnecting with values can reset focus and purpose, helping to shift from simply surviving to engaging with what truly matters.

Think of values like a compass – they don’t provide a final destination, but they guide decisions and actions, even when things feel overwhelming. Unlike goals, which can be checked off, values are ongoing – they shape how you show up in the world.

How to Reconnect With Your Values

Clarify What Matters Most

• What kind of person do you want to be – at work, at home, in life?
• What qualities do you admire in others?
• How do you want to be remembered? This can help clarify what truly matters to you.
• If you had to choose one core value that feels most important right now (e.g., integrity, connection, resilience), what would it be?

Check Your Alignment

• On a scale of 1 to 10, how much are you living in line with this value?
• When do you feel most connected to it? Do more of this.
• When do you feel furthest away? What’s getting in the way?
• In challenging moments, can you lean into your value more and let it drive your actions?

Take Small, Meaningful Action

• Identify one way to bring this value into your daily life.
• Instead of X (insert the thing that pulls you further away from your value), I will do Y (insert the thing that pulls you closer to your value).
• Keep it practical and achievable. For example:
  • If you value connection, instead of rushing through dinner only to scroll on your phone, sit with those closest to you and have a conversation.
  • If you value health, instead of hitting snooze for the third time, get up and stretch, go for a short walk, or drink a glass of water to start the day right.

“Goals have an endpoint – you can tick them off a list. Feelings come and go, constantly changing. But values stick around, guiding you toward a more meaningful life.”