What’s the Difference Between Emotions and Feelings?

Emotions vs. Feelings – these terms are often used interchangeably, but there’s a difference. Emotions hit fast; they’re your immediate, instinctive responses. Feelings are the meaning you assign to those emotions. Understanding both can pave the way for changed, more useful, and more helpful behaviour.

Feelings

Feelings? They’re the aftermath. The meaning you give to those raw emotions, filtered through your memories, beliefs, and experiences. If emotions are the raw data, feelings are the customised story you create. Emotions say, “Pay attention!” Feelings ask, “Why does this make me feel stuck, energised, or something in between?”

Action vs. Reflection

• Emotions drive action – fight, flee, freeze, or embrace – whatever your body decides in the moment.
• Feelings can slow you down and invite you to think: “What does this mean for me? Why am I feeling this way? What’s driving this?”

How to Work With Emotions

Two Simple Steps:

1. Name it: Say what you’re feeling – “I feel scared,” “I feel angry.”
2. Ask why: “Why do I feel this way? What’s really going on here?”

Just pausing and naming your emotions can shift your whole attitude. It helps you respond thoughtfully instead of reacting on autopilot.

Take this example: you snap at someone and later realise it was because you were feeling agitated. That moment of reflection – recognising you snapped, even if it comes way after the fact – is progress. Before you can stop yourself from saying or doing something you’ll regret, you’ve got to notice it happening. Even better? Spot the emotion before it takes over and dictates your behaviour.

Self-awareness makes changed behaviour possible and can save you a world of pain, unnecessary bullshit, and wasted energy. It could mean avoiding a fight with your partner, minimising a guilt spiral (and the accompanying cold sweats), or dodging that awkward “we need to talk” with your boss.

Practical Tip

When an emotion hits hard:

• Pause.
• Feel it – don’t fight it.
• Ask yourself: “What’s this really about? What can I learn from it?”

It’s not about shutting emotions down; it’s about choosing how you handle them.

Respond – don’t react.