How to cope with social anxiety and apprehension as we head out of lockdown and back into the real world

BY ALANA MAZZONI  

While the end of lockdown is an exciting time for most, for some people it can be an incredibly daunting experience.

As New South Wales – and much of the world – starts to open up again, there is glee and elation written on everyone’s faces. But for some of us, the excitement many of us believe we should feel at the end of Sydney’s brutal four-month lockdown has been marred by anxiety, uncertainty and an overwhelming sense of dread. Four months ago it would be hard to imagine feeling apprehensive about finally being able to go to the pub or hang out at a friend’s house, but as Monday’s Freedom Day draws closer, it can be easy to feel more alone than ever.

Have I become socially inept? Will large crowds of people start to scare me? What if I’ve changed? Is there something wrong with me? These are all common questions people who regularly struggle with anxiety, or even those who have never battled mental health problems, have started asking themselves.

But Luke Foster, a psychologist from mental health organisation LIVIN, tells Now To Love that these emotions are somewhat expected in such unprecedented times. “For some, they’d be feeling anxious and trepidatious about going into a new way of living,” he says. “Given the current circumstances that are filled with uncertainty, it’s understandable some people have trepidation. “Luke advised anyone struggling with the idea of hanging out in a social setting after being locked down for so long to ease their way into it. This “slow transition” could mean simply going to a friend’s house with a select few people you feel comfortable with, rather than heading straight to a packed pub or restaurant.

“But you don’t want to avoid all situations that generate slight anxiety. We need to be prepared that it’s a new environment and new way of doing things,” Luke says. “You might want to challenge yourself a bit but you don’t want to overwhelm yourself. Any readjustment can be really difficult for our mental health. “While easing back into life, monitor yourself and gain a sense of familiarity with how you’re actually doing. “We need to have some strategies in place to manage those transition periods.”

As for coping mechanisms, Luke said self-care couldn’t be more paramount in times like this. “I know it’s a buzz word but it’s about looking at the things in your life that make you feel good about yourself and help you to relax and unwind. Prioritise those things but particularly as you start to feel a bit anxious and fearful,” he says. “It’s very much an individual thing. The challenge in life is working out what makes you feel good about yourself. “Self-care doesn’t have to mean making drastic changes in your life. It could be something as simple as exercising, reading a book, meditation, or phoning a friend.

“It doesn’t need to be arduous. You can set time aside, even just 10 to 15 minutes a day, that’s very much about you and your mental health and wellbeing,” Luke says. For anyone who struggled with social anxiety before the pandemic hit, Luke recommends facing your fears head on, but to try and “focus outward”. “When we are socially anxious our attention naturally goes inwards. We monitor what we say and think, ‘oh my god what did I just say? Do I sound normal?’ All our attention tends to be focussed inwards,” he says. “When they’re in public they feel like there’s a giant spotlight just on them. The more you fixate on that internal stuff, the more it perpetuates your anxiety.

“If we can start to focus our attention outwards and take in the environment and notice what people are saying – essentially anything that takes the focus off yourself – it can be very helpful. “It’s also normal to have found solace and comfort in spending the last four months at home and to dread the FOMO (fear of missing out) that will inevitably kick in as lockdown draws to a close. “I’ve spoken to a lot of clients, males mainly, and they’ve said they’ve become accustomed to lockdown,” Luke says. “They have an established routine and when they think about re-establishing a new routine it can generate uncertainty and ambiguity. “Discomfort with the unknown is a natural human response, but it’s important to understand when the natural human response might be a bit more of a worry. “Luke says that as a psychologist, his default advice would be to seek professional help if you continue to struggle with readjusting to the real world.